im too insane

It’s midday. I don’t know what time it is exactly; I seem to be losing track of this concept lately. What’s the point of pursuing time? Me, I live in the past. I would say that I long for the past, the good times, but I don’t have a lot of those. Even when I’m happy I’m sad. In the winter I’m sad, in the summer I’m sad. In the rain I’m sad, in the shower I’m sad. . I wish I could change everything I’ve ever done in the past. Would that affect where I am now? I’d like to think that it would, but I’m not stupid. Of course I’d still end up like this. Oh god, I have so many regrets. I guess you could say that that’s okay, I could learn from my mistakes. But the thing is, see, I make the same mistakes repeatedly. Over and over, again and again. I never learn. What’s wrong with me? So, I’d like to think that I can change the future, maybe change is the wrong word, determine the future, but I can’t do that either. I’m too insane.

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